Funny Jokes

1. The Perfect Son. 
A: I have the perfect son. 
B: Does he smoke? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: Does he drink whiskey? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: Does he ever come home late? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? 
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

2. A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

3. Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."

The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."